Beautiful things don't ask for attention

As a film photographer, after watching The Secret Life of Walter Mitty felt like seeing my own soul developed in a darkroom. Lately, I’ve lost my center in both work and love, living in a state of 'underexposure' where everything feels gray and blurry.

I think this movie reminded me that life is so much just like film, requires us to embrace the 'unknown' and the and the 'uncertainty.' Sean O’Connell’s choice not to press the shutter at the perfect moment was a wake-up call. Sometimes, we are so obsessed with capturing the 'perfect frame' of our lives that we forget to actually stay in it and live.

I don't know why, but I always feel like a piece of me is missing. People see the 'print' of who I am, but they don't truly know me. To be honest, I don't even know myself, is it weird to say?

I feel like I'm a negative image: full of shadows and uncertainty. Or perhaps, I am like a film roll still stuck in the camera, hidden in the dark, waiting to be developed. I’m waiting for that moment when the chemicals hit the silver halides, and I can finally see the image of who I'm supposed to be.

I just want to be seen. It’s hard to admit that need while fighting the constant doubt that clouds my work. I put so much pressure on myself to capture something meaningful, yet I feel invisible.

But I have to believe that at the end of the day, my soul will eventually be recognized. Until then, I will keep loading the film and trusting that my time to 'develop' is coming...